So the sun rose again...
There was a time in my life when I dreaded waking up. There was a time in my life when I needed someone to tell me that I would make it too. There was a time when I needed to know what to do when I woke up in the morning again.
As time passed, I searched on the internet for someone, anyone who had been through anything remotely similar to what I was going through and survived. As a blog and website designer, I see postings all the time of loss and I have read many articles describing the grief process. But there are times when you can't think and you just need to be reminded to eat, to breathe, to make your bed, and it really doesn't matter what phase of grief that you are in.
So if today is your day of grief and you just need someone to tell you how to live for today, before better comes, and it will, then these are some practical things you can do:
1 Ask God to show you a future. You need to see that better will come.
2 Get up when the sun comes up. Rhythm, routine can be healing and you need to physically get up.
3 Make your bed! Yes, go make your bed. I am not going to explain all the reasons why but it is important.
4 Eat. Eat regularly. Eat well.
5 Read. Read stories from others who have had it worse and survived well. (Into the Deep by Robert Rogers is one that I read.)
6 Be. Be okay with just being sad.
7 Write it out. Writing it out, helps you to get it out. This may come later.
8 Drink lots of water. Sometimes we forget. You will think better.
9 Do something for someone else no matter how small.
10 Look for support. You will need time alone but alone is not good all the time. Try healing prayer, support group, mentors, pastor, counselor, worship night or prayer night at your church... Reach out in some way as a way to take action in your grief to care for yourself.
11 Cry. Sometimes we even forget to do this. Schedule a time, if it never seems convenient or if this is all you do.
12 Choose some verses that you need to believe, even if you don't now, and read them and reread them each day, until one day you will.
13 Give yourself time.
14 "Do the next thing," as Elisabeth Elliot said. Whatever the next thing that you need to do is, do it. Wash the dishes. Turn in a report at work. Whatever is next. Just take the next step.
Eventually, when the white sunlight peaks through your window blinds, you will look forward to the day. There will come a better. It is hard to imagine now. But one day you will even laugh and look around wondering if that was really you. Life will never be the same but there will be life and new ways of seeing. Hopefully, then, you can tell someone else to go make their bed, that it is important, and that their better is coming too.
"Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as Christ’s sufferings are ours in abundance [as they overflow to His followers], so also our comfort [our reassurance, our encouragement, our consolation] is abundant through Christ [it is truly more than enough to endure what we must]."