Written by Michelle Gill (February 2016 edition of the Heart to Heart Newsletter)
I was a sixteen year old girl when I asked God what He wanted for my life. I was certain that He told me that He wanted me to be a wife and also a mother. I wrote poems, said prayers, collected recipes, read books, ...waiting for that man. I graduated high school with no other plans than family. I went to work at my first coffee shop and waited. And waited. And waited. I went back to college and graduated at twenty-five and waited. And waited. I moved eighteen times in twelve years thinking surely my life would begin somewhere new. I tried singles groups, internet dating, this pursuit and that.
I met Russell when I was almost thirty-three. I married at thirty-four. Finally. We had our daughter one year later. Four years later he died.
Two years later people began to ask me what I was going to do about being single again. People told me not to wait around that I was getting too old. People told me that I needed to do something. People told me that my daughter needed a father.
I chose to practice what I learned the first time in waiting. I definitely was not perfect in my waiting the first go round, so some of this was learned in trial and error. Some of the things that I knew were true, I had to just hold on to in faith because I had not seen it walked out in front of me. Sometimes when you don't know anyone living by faith or living a life of purity then it is hard to be confident in that lifestyle when you are walking it out alone. That is one of the reasons that I write this article. There are some things that you need to know are true and hold to regardless of what well-meaning people say and regardless of your circumstances so you can - walk it out!
1. God will show you your future. Just ask Him. He will speak to you and direct your paths.
2. Everyone has to wait on something. Waiting is part of life. Life is not fair. Accept it.
3. You don't need to "find" your husband. God will bring him. Many people told me that I needed to do this or that and the first time I tried it all. In the end both my husbands came to me out of absolutely no effort of my own.
4. A husband won't make you happy. Be happy now. It is a choice. Happiness is a daily choice whether you are married or not.
5. Choose wisely because marriage is hard.
6. Live well single and you will live well married.
7. Cook for your health now instead of waiting for that family life. I hear people say all the time that they can't cook for one. I did. I practiced and I shared. If you don't cook now, you will have a hard time changing your habits then.
8. Learn to die to yourself now and be filled with the Holy Spirit. He is your greatest asset in marriage.
9. Have fun now. Enjoy your life. A happy person is much more attractive anyway.
10. Learn to take care of your inner self as well as outer self because being healthy is alot more fun.
11. Learn to pray well.
12. Be thankful. If you desire being married, thank God for the specific things that you desire in a husband before they come to be. Thank Him in advance.
13. Stay pure in every way including your thought life. Guard your thinking!
14. If you date at all, be careful with dating. Yes, I said if you date at all. Dating can increase your taste for change and dissatisfaction. Experiencing relationships with different men can cause you to unconsciously compare and give you a taste for things that aren't in your husbands personality. As with me, it can get you used to moving on instead of investing. Plus you need to ask yourself, if you truly believe God will bring your husband into your life. I chose not to date the second time around and He guided me the whole way.
15. Give. Invest in others. It is hard not to become self-focused unintentionally when you live alone.
16. Keep a watch on your relationship with God. Disappointment can sneak in like a worm and eat away before you know it.
17. Laugh. Laugh alot.
18. Walk it out. Sometimes we have to practice our trust in God before it is deepened to our reality. Walk out your trust and watch Him follow through.
Heart to Heart
These articles were written when I was the Editor for the Heart to Heart Newsletter which was an international ministry, created by Lois Breneman in 1999. The purpose at Heart to Heart was to encourage women and create biblical values in their day to day living.